Gross but good!

I have finally thrown up. Yes, I know--'tis a miracle. The timing sucked because it was Christmas morning, and it was disgusting, but at least I threw up. I also did it the next day, but unfortunately it hasn't happened since. It really made me feel better, but now I am back to just feeling extremely queasy and awful. So, here's hoping that I can start throwing up again!

A little behind...

A lot of my pregnant friends will say to me, "Oh, it's a lot harder to take a weekly picture than you'd think!" Well, I agree with them. Time just flies and when I realize that I should probably take a picture of myself, something else comes up and I forget.

So, here's me at 11 weeks! Try not to judge the hideousness of my overall appearance...just focus on ze belly. Also: I want to try and look cute when I take the pictures, because the pregnant friends I've mentioned always look so put together in theirs. So far, the two pictures I've taken have been in my pajamas. Sorry Baby, but until you start actually showing, I guess I'm not making too much of an effort to dress you up.

The Latest Cravings

*Toast with butter...any time, day or night, two pieces of very toasted bread with a light spread of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Light, and I am in HEAVEN.

*Chocolate Cake donuts from Krispy Kreme...only as often as dear Mike will allow.

*Water...about two gallons every day, I do not jest.

*Chicken Enchiladas...I only make this occasionally, because mixing it all together makes me sick! :)

*Fruit Loops and Cocoa Puffs...this has only intensified, because I could eat cereal for every meal of the day, pregnant or not.

This Too Shall Pass

Finals week is over after today and I cannot WAIT. I have been so stressed with everything that it has multiplied my sickness by a million percent. It will be nice to be done with school so I can just relax and focus on unpacking our new apartment.
In other good news, my nausea is getting better! I am not as sick as I was and now I can eat normal dinners--not just cereal or applesauce. Lol I'm hoping that soon my nausea goes away completely, but if it doesn't, I'm just grateful it's not as bad as it was in the beginning.
I am now 11 weeks, and I can't believe it. I'm almost out of my first trimester, and I'm nervous that I haven't had a doctor's appointment yet. I just hope I've been doing all the right things so my baby is healthy. :S I'm taking my Pre-Natals and eating as healthy as I can, so hopefully that counts for something.

Medicaid

I'm not ashamed that I'm applying for Medicaid. I know a lot of people think that government help is only for those who are too lazy to get off their butt and get a job. Obviously that isn't the case. I've known a lot of people who have needed assistance and yes, it shocked me at first with some people. I judged...not too severely, but I did. 

Well, I take it back. Mike and I need help and I'm not going to be too prideful to ask for it. I want what is best for my baby, and that is definitely not scraping every penny, getting into thousands of dollars in debt and being miserable. I'm swallowing my stupid pride and applying. 

So, this means that I have to reschedule my first doctor's appointment because I have no means to pay for it on my own. I'll find out if I've been accepted on December 31st, so wish me luck. But please, don't pity me. Don't say, "Poor Mike and Jess, they are struggling." Sure, we are. Everyone struggles, right? I welcome empathy, because I know that I'm not the only young married pregnant student to ever have had trials. Others' experiences are helpful, because I know I'm not alone. 

We're crossing our fingers...and can't wait to get an ultrasound sometime in January so we can see our leetle Beach! :)

So Emotional

I have been so emotional lately. I mean crying every night. No, not crying--sobbing hysterically to the point where Mike starts panicking and begs me to tell him what to do to make it stop. You always hear that being pregnant messes with your emotions, but I never thought it would get this bad!
Mostly I cry because I'm always so sick, especially at night. My nausea kicks in around six o'clock now and lasts until I fall into a very fitful, drained sleep. It's not that I'm in pain--it's that being sick without any means to cure it is a pain. I feel so bad for my poor husband, because there is literally nothing he can do.
Mike gave me a blessing the other night because I was so frustrated and depressed--and in that blessing, we were told that this would be my most difficult pregnancy. Well, at least I know it's only up from here! Until then, I hope I don't have many more breakdowns, because I'm starting to annoy myself!

Crackers

This post is dedicated to Great Value saltine crackers. They save my life when I am sitting in my long classes, wanting to die. Thank you, saltines, for being flavorless enough to satisfy my nauseous hunger, and cheap enough that I can keep eating you.

You save my life again and again, and after this pregnancy, I hope to NEVER EVER EVER see you again! :)