13 Weeks

My little Beach peach is still making me sick every day, but it hasn't been as bad as it was in the beginning. Here I am, 13 weeks, not showing AT ALL but feeling like a walrus all the time. I haven't started to weigh myself yet, mostly because if I've gained any weight, I'll know it's just because I've given into cravings and not because my little peach is starting to make an appearance. 

 See this? NOT wearing pajamas. Yeah, I've come a long way. :)

There are no stats to report, mostly because I'm not going to document my weight until my appointment in two weeks. The only thing is that I'm still nauseous a lot every day. It varies--sometimes I want to die a little and Mike will bring me my cravings while I lay in bed, thinking that if my baby isn't cute I'm going to be super mad. Lol

I still have a hard time having official meals. Mostly I try to eat fruit and the 100% natural string cheese (for future reference, I call them cheese sticks, but I for sure don't mean the nasty fried-and-dripping-with-grease appetizers). Lately I have really been craving a glass of ice-cold milk and Sunny D. Not together. :) That seems to be all for now. Until next time!

Gross but good!

I have finally thrown up. Yes, I know--'tis a miracle. The timing sucked because it was Christmas morning, and it was disgusting, but at least I threw up. I also did it the next day, but unfortunately it hasn't happened since. It really made me feel better, but now I am back to just feeling extremely queasy and awful. So, here's hoping that I can start throwing up again!

A little behind...

A lot of my pregnant friends will say to me, "Oh, it's a lot harder to take a weekly picture than you'd think!" Well, I agree with them. Time just flies and when I realize that I should probably take a picture of myself, something else comes up and I forget.

So, here's me at 11 weeks! Try not to judge the hideousness of my overall appearance...just focus on ze belly. Also: I want to try and look cute when I take the pictures, because the pregnant friends I've mentioned always look so put together in theirs. So far, the two pictures I've taken have been in my pajamas. Sorry Baby, but until you start actually showing, I guess I'm not making too much of an effort to dress you up.

The Latest Cravings

*Toast with butter...any time, day or night, two pieces of very toasted bread with a light spread of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Light, and I am in HEAVEN.

*Chocolate Cake donuts from Krispy Kreme...only as often as dear Mike will allow.

*Water...about two gallons every day, I do not jest.

*Chicken Enchiladas...I only make this occasionally, because mixing it all together makes me sick! :)

*Fruit Loops and Cocoa Puffs...this has only intensified, because I could eat cereal for every meal of the day, pregnant or not.

This Too Shall Pass

Finals week is over after today and I cannot WAIT. I have been so stressed with everything that it has multiplied my sickness by a million percent. It will be nice to be done with school so I can just relax and focus on unpacking our new apartment.
In other good news, my nausea is getting better! I am not as sick as I was and now I can eat normal dinners--not just cereal or applesauce. Lol I'm hoping that soon my nausea goes away completely, but if it doesn't, I'm just grateful it's not as bad as it was in the beginning.
I am now 11 weeks, and I can't believe it. I'm almost out of my first trimester, and I'm nervous that I haven't had a doctor's appointment yet. I just hope I've been doing all the right things so my baby is healthy. :S I'm taking my Pre-Natals and eating as healthy as I can, so hopefully that counts for something.

Medicaid

I'm not ashamed that I'm applying for Medicaid. I know a lot of people think that government help is only for those who are too lazy to get off their butt and get a job. Obviously that isn't the case. I've known a lot of people who have needed assistance and yes, it shocked me at first with some people. I judged...not too severely, but I did. 

Well, I take it back. Mike and I need help and I'm not going to be too prideful to ask for it. I want what is best for my baby, and that is definitely not scraping every penny, getting into thousands of dollars in debt and being miserable. I'm swallowing my stupid pride and applying. 

So, this means that I have to reschedule my first doctor's appointment because I have no means to pay for it on my own. I'll find out if I've been accepted on December 31st, so wish me luck. But please, don't pity me. Don't say, "Poor Mike and Jess, they are struggling." Sure, we are. Everyone struggles, right? I welcome empathy, because I know that I'm not the only young married pregnant student to ever have had trials. Others' experiences are helpful, because I know I'm not alone. 

We're crossing our fingers...and can't wait to get an ultrasound sometime in January so we can see our leetle Beach! :)

So Emotional

I have been so emotional lately. I mean crying every night. No, not crying--sobbing hysterically to the point where Mike starts panicking and begs me to tell him what to do to make it stop. You always hear that being pregnant messes with your emotions, but I never thought it would get this bad!
Mostly I cry because I'm always so sick, especially at night. My nausea kicks in around six o'clock now and lasts until I fall into a very fitful, drained sleep. It's not that I'm in pain--it's that being sick without any means to cure it is a pain. I feel so bad for my poor husband, because there is literally nothing he can do.
Mike gave me a blessing the other night because I was so frustrated and depressed--and in that blessing, we were told that this would be my most difficult pregnancy. Well, at least I know it's only up from here! Until then, I hope I don't have many more breakdowns, because I'm starting to annoy myself!

Crackers

This post is dedicated to Great Value saltine crackers. They save my life when I am sitting in my long classes, wanting to die. Thank you, saltines, for being flavorless enough to satisfy my nauseous hunger, and cheap enough that I can keep eating you.

You save my life again and again, and after this pregnancy, I hope to NEVER EVER EVER see you again! :)

Hormonal--keep your distance!

I thought I was ornery and easily angered when I was on my period...oh ho ho, being pregnant is SO much worse! It's amazing what stupid things make me want to reach out and punch someone.
Everyone is saying, "Oh, I thought you weren't planning on having a baby, etc."
So getting pregnant is planned every time, then? There are no surprise babies?
WRONG, people!
I think the thing that bothers me most is that people act like they're walking on eggshells; when they ask, it's apologetic. I don't regret getting pregnant. I DO NOT regret my baby, no matter how bad the morning sickness gets.
So no, the baby was not planned, but that doesn't mean we don't want it.
Plus, is it really anyone's business if we were planning for a baby or not? I mean, wouldn't it be weird if everyone announced when they were trying, every time? I can see that if someone is having fertility issues--it's more of a hopeful statement, not a too-much-information statement.
Sure, have a plan--but no one really wants to know the exact moment of conception. Unless you're a bit disturbed. It's a sacred experience that has nothing to do with anyone but the parents-to-be.
*ROAR* 
Okay, I'm good now. Just had to rant. :)

Morning/Afternoon/Night Sickness

Let me now address the issue of "morning" sickness. It is most definitely not just in the morning. For  me, it has been mostly in the late afternoon/evening. It is the WORST. I'll be hungry, so I'll try to think of something to eat, but everything makes me sick to even think about, so I end up not eating. Then my stomach starts arguing and so I stuff down the only thing I can think of, which is mostly Special K cereal or Fruit Loops. My baby is going to love cereal.
I pretty much hate all food. Mike can't even mention names of food or I get really nauseous. The really frustrating  thing is that I can't throw up. Not at all. I constantly feel like I need to, because I know I'll feel better, but it just won't happen. My stomach is in a constant cramp-like state that can only be slightly relieved if I lie down.
My point? This pregnancy is making me useless, but I'm sure it will be worth it in the long run! :)

Telling Mike's Fam

I have been feeling so nauseous and gross today--it's been bad. I woke up at 10:00 this morning and then slept for four hours this afternoon. Not so much fun. Anyway, Mike and I had planned to go to his parents' house so we could tell him the good news, but I didn't feel up to it. Ugh.
Mike went without me and once he got there, he called and put me on speaker phone. The conversation went a little like this:
Mike: Jess, did you want to issue that apology?
Me: Yep. Well, Gary, do you really want to know why I didn't come up? The truth? My baby is making me sick!
Super long pause....
Me: Or, more accurately, your grandbaby is making me sick.
Gary: Are you serious?
Hahaha! I'm glad that they are happy for us, but I am sad that I couldn't be there when we announced it. We're SO relieved that our immediate families know now, because it is such a weight off our shoulders. Now I can just say that I'm sick and the families know why.
Well, soon enough our extended family and our friends will know that we've got a Beach baby on the way! We can't wait!

Tellin' the Fam :)

Mike and I chose Thanksgiving Day to share our big news with my family. It was so much fun! I bought a onesie at Old Navy and then made a card that says, "TO: Grandma. LOVE: Grandbaby #12. I'll meet you during the holidays, if you celebrate Christmas in JULY!" 

While we were all sitting down and eating, I had Kaulin go get the present and give it to my mom. He said, "Grandma Janice, here's an early Christmas present." She said thank you and then set it down next to her. Um, NO! So I decided to "get another roll" and I found Chris in the kitchen. I told him to tell Mom to open it right then, and he asked me if I knew who it was from. I said yes and then ran back into the dining room. 

Mom opened it and immediately started to cry. She turned to Cory and Elisha and said, "Really?" Elisha looked so confused! Mom started looking around, and then she saw Mike and me at the end of the table with Cheshire cat grins on our faces. Her mouth pretty much dropped to the floor and I shouted, "WE'RE PREGNANT!"

It was so awesome! The funniest part about it was that most of my family had asked me if I was pregnant at least once in the past couple of weeks. :) Well, I lied to all of your faces, sorry! Haha! Anyway, I am SO happy that my family knows now. They are so much fun and I am so excited for my baby to get to know all of them! There's a lot of crazy in my family, but there's just as much love! :) 

Happy Thanksgiving, Baby! We can't wait to meet you, but we will. Keep on cookin'!

And so the picture taking begins!

Well, I decided that I should start taking pictures while I am NOT showing at all. This way I can look back and be grateful that I wasn't always a balloon. :) Anyway, this is me at 8 weeks, as indicated in the picture. It still hasn't sunk in that I'm pregnant, but I'm sure it will as my baby grows! 

SO BLOATED

Can you already tell that this post will be lovely? 
Oh my gosh! I have never felt this bloated in my life. I had half a bowl of heart-healthy cereal last night for dinner and afterward I felt like I had stuffed myself! It was awful. I've had loads of flatulence (less-gross way of saying "gas") and just felt nasty. Sometimes the only way I can feel normal is by laying down, and I hate being lazy! I can't wait for my second trimester--I know it's no guarantee, but I'm supposed to feel a lot better by then. 
Hopefully!

To Tell or Not To Tell

Mike and I cannot seem to figure out when and how we should tell our families. He wants to either just say, "Hey, we're pregnant!" or some weird, cryptic statement that they will have to really think about to understand. Um, why? Aren't they going to be surprised either way?


I'm going to Park City tomorrow with Mom and Jamie and there are some really cute baby clothes outlets. I think I'll pretend that I'm buying something for Katie's baby and then give it to my mom on Thanksgiving while everyone is doing the whole go-around-the-room-and-say-what-you're-grateful-for thing. 


Part of me wants to wait until after my first appointment, so I have a more accurate due date and an ultrasound picture that I can show everyone. Then again, it's so hard not to say anything--especially when my morning sickness is SO bad and hearing the name of foods makes me want to throw up. 


Ugh. Well, whatever ends up happening, I will definitely blog about it, because that's what I do. Until next time!

Hypothyroidism

I have hypothyroid and used to be on medication for it. However, about seven months ago, I stopped taking that medication because we couldn't afford for me to have a follow-up appointment to get my blood work done and get a prescription refill. When I went in to get my pregnancy test, the nurse told me that I needed to get back on my Synthroid because pregnant women need to be on their thyroid medication. 


I went in yesterday to Dr. Lunceford's office in Payson and OH. MY. GOSH. 


I don't know how I did it. 


First off, I got there a little early and as I was signing in, the receptionist asked me what I came in for. I told her that I needed to see Dr. Lunceford and get some blood drawn, so she told me to just go on back to the lab. 


Whilst waiting to get into the lab, I started talking to an adorable old couple. Out of nowhere, we hear the phlebotomist say, "Oh my gosh, I just can't find your vein! Oh wait, there it is. Oh  here we go. Oh, wait--oh no, I collapsed your vein! Or did I blow it? We're going to have to send you to the hospital so they can take care of it." 


ARE YOU KIDDING?


The couple and I just stared at each other. Awesome. Then the same receptionist who told me not to sign in came and told me that I needed to sign in. Really? I did so, then went to the bathroom, and literally as soon as I came out, a nurse asked for me to follow him. He checked my blood pressure (excellent) and oxygen (97%). After that, Dr. Lunceford came in. 


"Haven't seen you in awhile. Still married?"
"Yep. And pregnant." 


He did more of my vitals and then he led me to the lab to get my blood drawn. I told him that I might pass out, and he said, "Oh don't worry. My brother came in last week and we had to carry him out." Hm. Comforting?


Once again I found myself waiting at the lab, this time with an older woman. She was telling me about her knee surgeries and once again, we could hear the phlebotomist completely screwing up! She kept talking about how she couldn't find the vein and then she said, "I'm so sorry to stick you a fourth time..." HOLY H! Then, of course, my knee surgery friend went in and the phlebotomist kept messing up on her too. Toward the end, she said, "I'm sorry! It's going to look like you've been beat up!" Great. 


After the knee lady left, the phlebotomist came out and exclaimed, "I promise I'm a good phlebotomist! The last four people just haven't had very good veins. I promise I'm good, really."


Oh, well you just saying you're good must mean it's true...I'll pay no attention to all the people who left in agonizing pain, because they're just mess-ups. Ugh.


I went in and told her that I was terrified of needles, and that I was sorry if I passed out. She just kept talking to me and I made sure to look away. Surprisingly, the needle didn't really hurt, it was just a tiny poke. I was doing great, talking and staying calm, when all of a sudden I broke into such a massive cold sweat that I felt like someone had just dumped water over me. My heart started racing and I got really dizzy. She had just taken the needle out and I just said, "I'm sorry, I think I need a bucket." 


I ended up not throwing up, but I have never felt so terrible! I told her I was sorry that I was such a pansy. "I'm only 7 weeks pregnant," I wheezed. "I doubt this blood draw is helping."


She agreed. Apparently a lot of newly pregnant women have a hard time after they get their blood drawn. She said that they tend to go into a shock, which is exactly what happened to me. Luckily I got some water and felt a lot better. Plus, I got a 30% discount for paying for my visit right then and there. 


Ugh. Next blood draw: December 13. 


This baby better be cute.

Official Test & Goals

I went to the doctor's office today and got an official pregnancy test done. I won't lie, my heart was pounding on the drive there--I've been so excited that what would happen if I got a false positive? Well, thankfully that didn't happen! It was actually kind of funny--after I gave her the urine sample, the nurse said, "The test is very positive!"


My estimated due date for right now is July 10, 2011. 
My first appointment with the doctor is December 13, 2010. 


I am so excited, but also weirdly calm about it. It probably hasn't fully hit me yet, but I'm sure it will soon! 


PREGNANCY GOALS

• Give up carbonation/caffeine. 
• Keep up on my walking routine, but obviously not start anything crazy. 
• Portion control! If I have to eat every two hours (doctor's orders), I don't want to gain flub in addition to the pregnancy weight! 

One Happy Man

I am so not good at keeping huge secrets...obviously. :) I had the hardest time not smiling too much and letting Mike know that something was going on, especially since he kept asking me if I had taken a pregnancy test yet. Well, I planned it out as cutely as I could. Keep in mind that I have been so sick and so my creativity wasn't amazing. Lol

First I made spaghetti and garlic breadsticks for dinner. Oh my gosh--I was dry heaving the whole time! Anyway, I cleaned the house and put the rose Mike brought home last week in the middle of the dinner table. I arranged the place settings and everything was perfect. I stayed home from church because I have been so sick, and Mike came home right when dinner was done. After he'd sat down for dinner and we said the prayer, I went to the bathroom and quickly decorated it, with the test on top:

Then I went back out and after a few minutes, I said, "Oh man. Honey, will you go grab my phone? I left it in the bathroom." He got up and when he turned on the light, I could perfectly see his face from where I was sitting...it was priceless. He looked as happy as he did on our wedding day...I love him for being so excited! 

He practically ran to me and gave me the biggest hug of my life. He kept asking me if I was okay with it with a HUGE grin on his face. Well, of course! I don't think I could be more super excited/nervous/terrified/happy! :) So there you go, folks...

WE'RE PREGNANT!

I Spoke too Soon!

This morning at approximately 9:00 a.m., I took a pregnancy test.

POSITIVE.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I have been telling myself for so long that I was just imagining pregnancy symptoms that I am beyond shocked. BEYOND. I can't believe it. Mike was still asleep (we had a late night: Toy Story 3) so I went back in to cuddle with him and I just lay there, wide awake. I can't believe it.

I'm pregnant.

Now I need to think of a creative way to tell the daddy...

So sick

I have been so sick for three days...just nausea and all that jazz. I have also had the WEIRDEST cravings...like garlic croutons and a chocolate shake (yes, together) and Special K cereal and cheese. So weird.

I don't necessarily think I'm pregnant, but obviously posting about cravings and nausea on my other blog would cause everyone to jump down my throat and "accuse" me of pregnancy. It's actually pretty funny--I've had so many friends tell me that I have to tell them the second I find out. Um, no. I will be telling Mike and my family first when the time comes. Although, no lies, I'll probably tell Katie right after Mike...it's only fair, because she told me right after she told Stan! Lol

Anyway...I'm so sick of being sick. Here's to hoping it passes with no (baby) bumps along the way!

Baby Gurley!

I found out on August 2 that my very best friend, Katie Williams Gurley, is pregnant! AH! I am so excited for her and Stan! They've been married for 3 years now (their anniversary is May 5) and they always said that they would be married for 5 years before they had a baby. Apparently not! :) I think Katie and Stan are going to be awesome parents, and their baby will be SO cute! I would write about this on my regular blog, but Katie just barely told her parents last night and I don't want to tell everyone before she gets a chance to.

I won't lie, I'm kind of jealous. While I'm grateful to not be pregnant, sometimes I feel like I should just starting having babies so I can get it over with and start raising my own little family. I'm so redundant and I apologize, but Mike and I are going to wait and I'm happy for that. When it's our time, we'll know. I have faith that the Lord will help us know when the time is best for us--not perfect, because it's never perfect timing, but best.

Congrats, Katie & Stan! I can't wait to see baby Gurley in 9 months! :D

"Accurate"

I was recently reading one of my friend's blogs, talking about her pregnancy. She wrote about all the applications she downloaded on her iPod for pregnancy, online things, etc. I decided to search"online pregnancy test" just to see what would come up: thepregnancytester.com. Apparently the computer "scans" you for pregnancy...I know, right? Apparently this is my situation: I am pregnant with a boy, who will be six pounds, four ounces. What's even funnier is that the next section of the quiz is "Who's the Daddy?" Haha! Are you kidding? Apparently the father of my internet baby is the sheriff guy from Dukes of Hazzard.

Sorry Mike.

Conflicting Feelings

Mike & I have been married for two years next month, and not for one second of those two years have I wanted a baby. That's not to say that I don't like kids, because I do. I have the most adorable and fun nieces and nephews known to man and I love all of them so much. Lately, however, I feel like my feelings about being a mom are changing.

Right now is the first summer that Mike is working for Platinum Protection. Things are going well, and we'll probably continue to move away each summer and try to make money. Some of the wives out here either have adorable little ones or are trying to get them. Combine that with missing my family like crazy, and here we are.

I really want a baby. I really don't want a baby.

See the predicament?

Sometimes I think I'm pregnant and I get really freaked out, and then quickly excited. I start thinking of ways to tell Mike and if I'll get sick or not and how I'll tell my family. Then I find out I'm not pregnant, and it makes me sad. I'm grateful, because I want to finish school first, but I'm still sad.

I think that's God's whole plan in action. I'm one of those chicks who wants to do something with her life. I want to get my Bachelor's degree, go to Cosmetology school for makeup, get voice lessons up and running, and be in community theatre. If I had a baby, I couldn't do most of that, and it depresses me. However, I know that having a baby would bring me more joy than if I did all of those things--and that's why I know that God's plan is the right one...for women to be mothers, because we need to mother.

No worries, we're still not planning to have a baby for awhile, but I've come to terms with the fact that even if I don't think I'm ready, God will know when I'm ready. I just have to have faith that things will work out. One thing I know for sure: Mike is going to be an awesome daddy!